Finding Your Why: What’s Your Reason to Change?
Finding Your Why: What’s Your Reason to Change?
This is a tough one. People come to me all the time looking to make a change, but when I ask them why, their reasons aren’t very sturdy. Sometimes it’s things like wanting to wear clothes that don’t fit any more, or a vague response like, “I just want to be happy.” Though wellness and fitness in your body, and happiness in your mind are certainly great things, you have to get specific. You need a specific spark to ignite the change within yourself, or else it’s easy for your fire to burn out or never really get going.
Some people are able to get started with change when their reasons aren’t very strong, and then they can gain momentum. In my experience, people don’t really, truly change until their ‘why’ is really strong. The ‘why’ is usually an epiphany. I’ve seen it in moms who realize how stressed and unhappy they are when it manifests in their children and that’s the light bulb moment where they realize they have to change because, until that point, they thought they were hiding their struggles from their children. I’ve seen it in people who lose a friend or family member and realize that the way they’re living is not any better, and that they are shortening their own lifespan with their choices. It’s big. The ‘why’ has to be big or it won’t stick.
I know one woman who had been a smoker on and off for many years and she finally just got mad enough to quit for good. But people can go on for years knowing that something is bad for them, and they never actually change. She said that her ‘why’ was actually when she started trying to run after quitting smoking. She was still in her twenties and realized that she had the lungs of a senior citizen, no endurance, and terrible cardiovascular health from living sedentary and eating poorly on top of smoking. ‘Why’ you want to change isn’t because you’ve been unhealthy for too long. It’s because you realize that you only have one life and one body and one soul, and very specific choices you’re making are hurting you and taking away your spirit.
THAT is your why! That is when you can make a change and know it will stick.
If you’re finding that your reason to change is because you’re not happy, what aren’t you happy about? What are ways that you could be happy or things you could be happy about that currently make you feel unhappy, or apathetic? If you’re unhappy with your body, is it actually that you don’t like the aesthetics of yourself, or is it that you’ve lost something you use to have inside that gave you a glow on the outside?
If you’re here right now, then it means you have either already had the light bulb moment, or because you know that something has to change about your life, but you’re unsure of exactly what or why that change has to happen. Take some time to look deep within yourself. Find your quiet and calm to work backward from today to see what has caused you to come to this point. Start visualizing your life going forward. How is it different? What is different? What is it about the future you that is steadfast and strong? It may take some time, or even a few tries, but I promise you’ll get your ‘why’ that will be the turning point in your fire-driven journey, and that spark will light the fire that becomes your burning passion in life!
P.S. I would like to hear from you. Just shoot me an email at vanessa@vanessachamberlin.com if you have any questions, thoughts or ideas that you want to share with me! =)
Question: What are your simple action steps to achieve that change you strongly desire? Post your feedback in the comments section below!
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Hi Vanessa! I just watched you on the Ed Bernstein show. Fabulous job! You sounded great and very informative and motivational.
I really enjoyed my guesting on the Ed Bernstein Show! I’m so happy you were able to watch it and shared some inspiration with you! Thank you!